Hobsons Hobble 55km “Fat Ass” Run
24-7-2006
Results
1. Ben Cotter 5:21:43
2. Jane Sturzaker [F] 5:59:00 [short cut/lost]
3. Shirley Young [F age 75!] 6:15:00 [short cut/lost]
4. Garry Wise 8:14:00 [long cut!/lost]
5. Sandra Howorth [F] 8:32:12
21km Option …
David Dodson 1:59
Julie Newnham 2:01
Jon Bell 2:01
Report by “Race Director”, Kevin Cassidy
There can be no disputing the encapsulating environs of the picturesque and historical suburbs of Altona and Williamstown that sleepily lie beside Hobsons Bay in Melbourne’s west. Beautiful they may be, but the icy gale force winds that welcomed us in the early morning dulled any enthusiasm for the surrounds. Such hostile and unpleasant weather ensured that only the hardiest few would bother to put in an appearance. Tiny boats tied to their moorings bounced vigorously on the choppy water as I stood in the moonlight wondering if anyone was of a sufficiently low I.Q. to turn up.
The only familiar sight in the Altona Boating Club’s otherwise vacant carpark was Ben Cotter’s blue Mitsubishi. Owing to work commitments later, Ben made a start at the ungodly hour of 3am, a choice that attracted the attention of the local constabulary on night patrol who displayed an understandable disbelief at his nocturnal actions.
I thought I was alone as I stood in the darkness only to get a sudden realisation that I had company in a wiry looking chap standing on the bike path staring longingly at the Moon. “Do you know it would take 25,000 years to fly a rocket to the end of the Milky Way”, he mumbled as he turned his gaze in my direction. “Well, even if you left now, you wouldn’t make it home for dinner”, I replied. He then wordlessly meandered off into the darkness at a slow old clip dragging his uncooperative pint sized dog behind him.
As it happened, daybreak made an appearance and four more runners arrived. A small field indeed, but a field that included Ultra Royalty in 75 year old Shirley Young. Listing all of Shirley’s World Records would take me into next year but suffice to say she pumps them out at a more prolific rate than Shane Warne sends text messages. Jane Sturzaker’s long suffering husband, Robert, didn’t mince words with his intentions, “I’m not getting out of the car” he snapped in a manner that strongly suggested the issue was not open to negotiations.
Our intrepid gathering then headed west along Altona’s esplanade to Sandra Howorth’s shout of “Girly Power”, alluding to the fact that poor Garry Wise was overwhelmingly outnumbered in the battle of the sexes. Shirley Young looked resplendent in black tights with husband, Ron following on his mangled looking contraption of a bike while Garry Wise and Jane Sturzaker patiently settled into a rhythm together. With her first 48 Hour event just weeks away, Sandra Howorth motored off at 7 minutes per km pace, a pace she was to hold all the way to the finish with a deliberative degree of accuracy.
Finding myself alone again in the car park, I decided a few photos during the day would be appropriate, a decision that required that I familiarise myself with a newly purchased digital camera. Not being overly converse with modern technology, I was dreading the moment. Imagine my horror with the following instructions.
1. Insert Disc A into Disk G then connect the unit offload sub orbiter to the co-axial lineout jack of your Multiplex 546zx camera with enhancing do-dads and gizmos.
2. Enter you License Verification Number which can be found by entering your Certified User Number. If you can’t find your Certified User Number, then enter you License Verification Number!!
Suffice to say, I had no idea how to operate this expensive modern day collection of astonishingly technical wizardry. In the foulest of moods, I very nearly hurled the frustratingly troublesome camera into the vast and exceedingly wet expanses of Port Phillip Bay.
Around 8:30am, three excited individuals embarked upon the 21km option that takes in the loop around the Truganina Swamp. Setting off, they were able to greet the early starting Ben Cotter as he arrived at the finish. A quick chat, then he was off like a flash to his Supermarket in the proudly genteel suburb of Oakleigh. Ben is keenly and fanatically looking forward to Adelaide’s 24 Hour Event in October.
Gulping down a drink in Laverton, Shirley Young complained about her lack of training. “I’ve got a new puppy and he’s just beautiful”, she said. “I spend all of my time playing with him instead of running”
One of the West’s most prominent features is the hugely popular Cherry Lake and a lap is included in the middle stages of the course. Imagine my surprise when three of our runners never showed up in the area. Finally tracking them down near Williamstown’s Time Ball Tower, Jane astounded me with her assertion that “We couldn’t find the lake”. Now let me pause here and mention a few facts. Cherry Lake has a circumference of over four kilometres, covers an area of approximately 1,000 hectares, holds in excess of a billion megalitres of water and is highly visible from any direction. This is hardly a piece of the landscape that anyone could keep hidden, yet three runners missed it altogether as if it was tucked away behind a tree! With a roll of his eyes, Robert Sturzaker noted quite bluntly that “Runners aren’t the brightest lot”
The buffeting wind howled stronger and harder all the way around Point Gellibrand, The Strand and up to the Westgate Bridge. Our group of runners split up and started to stretch out. They dodged the overcoat clad café patrons and slow shunting Volvos in Nelson Place. Jane and Shirley were maintaining their pace but Garry was feeling the effects of the previous weeks Gold Coast 100km. Combined with an oncoming dose of the flu, he started to struggle. Sandra, meantime, was still pumping out those 7 minute km’s and looking satisfied and comfortable
Waiting at the finish, I was suddenly surrounded by a large group of cigarette puffing Italian men from the local Fishing Club. Fishing people really are a breed of their own and a very strange one at that. They spent all their time in loud conversation comparing each others equipment, “Hey, check out my new megahertz oscillator 5000 fishing lure” said one excitable individual, only to be outdone by a rotund beer swilling little man’s reply of “Look at my carbon fibred switchback MK IV super stretch hooks”…and on and on the competitive banter went in a clear example of testosterone fuelled “one-up-man-ship”.
As the day approached the early afternoon, Jane cheerily crossed the finish followed soon after by a sweat dripping Shirley. Garry and Sandra diligently remained on the course. Garry, fighting illness but doggedly determined, managed to include the “missing” Cherry Lake [and a few extra km!] on his return journey. Sandra proved to more observant than her fellow runners by finding and circling the lake as per the course instructions without a hitch. Sandra and Garry arrived gratefully at the finish in close succession around 3:30pm with the afternoon rapidly fading and the weather still exceedingly atrocious.
If a vacancy on the 2006 calendar can be found, I may look at a warmer and more agreeable time of year.